Thursday, August 11, 2011

Here, by request, and at long last...

...is the 2007 Cheerio Death Match.

I've been watching too much boxing/ultimate fighting lately. So here's my recap of the canine Cheerio conflict that took place last week…

I don't think I'm alone when I say no one could have predicted the outcome of this dog fight. Featherweight Oliver Slavin, a Beagle from Portland, Oregon, really came on strong from the get-go. Unfortunately, Sydney Slavin, a five-time champion Shepherd from (you guessed it) Australia, clearly had the advantage. In a bid to defend himself from the onslaught of the Little Beagle that Could, Big Syd followed his instincts and went at it for all he was worth. The ref came in and tried to break things up a few times, but to no avail. A bystander from the crowd, half-Pit Bull and Boise native Harley Daniels, even tried to intervene by grabbing the little dog's throat in her jaws. In the end, however, bloodshed prevailed, and about a third of Oliver's ear flew to the floor. The owner of the ring cited disqualification due to unsportsmanlike behavior. So the prize so eagerly sought, a whopping five Cheerios thrown into the dog bowl, was denied to both dogs. I thought I'd seen it all, folks, but nothing has prepared me for the insane carnage I've witnessed today…