Wednesday, January 20, 2016

One Life, and Work to Do

Insomnia used to be a regular pastime of mine. How many hours of my life have I wasted on Facebook, I wonder? I could probably come up with a rough estimate, and one word to describe it: pathetic.

I woke up at 2 this morning but at least I've been somewhat productive. I made a list of the twelve books I want to read in three months, something that was inspired by a vision board I made for work. My employer and I added some steps to facilitate more specific goals. If I really want to be a writer, I need to study the craft. And studying, as it often does, involves a lot of reading. 

Other goals include: filing paperwork, figuring out my whole health insurance snafu once the divorce is official, getting a new social security card, getting an ID for Violet so that I have proof of her status and health insurance, yada yada yada. Mostly a bunch of paperwork looming in the future. Soonest begun, soonest done, as I remember a snippet from a Stephen King novel. Wow, I've actually retained something from reading. I was beginning to wonder.

Also slated is SCHEDULED writing time. Ahem. No more of this four-in-the-morning, whenever-I-get-a-wild-hair-up-my-ass nonsense. If I ever expect to finish the mental illness autobiography I need to work a it. If I ever expect to have a loyal blog readership golly gee, I'm going to have to WORK. After all, life is work. So I need to get busy living.

And then there's this whole...getting out there...thing. I've been in a monogamous relationship for thirteen years. I am a sweet (ha ha ha), loyal girl, faithful to a fault. Sure, I think about putting myself out there, and I dream about putting myself out there, I verbalize that I want to get out there but...eh? Hasn't happened yet. I also have no idea how to survive in this weird hookup culture they seem to have going on these days. Maybe I'm antiquated. Should I get with the times? Because I tend to obsess about oh, say, feelings, maybe I shouldn't. But there I go, thinking again.

Speaking of thinking, I had waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy too much coffee yesterday, which explains why I'm still up and my brain seems to be going a mile a minute. I need to start limiting myself to two hopelessly sad cups a day. Addictions, addictions. They are not a joke. And as fun as cutting out Facebook and coffee cold turkey would undoubtedly be, it probably isn't going to happen. Baby steps. Weaning process. All that jazz.

Obligatory transition. Just kidding, I don't need one. One of my healthy goals is to do things I find terrifying. This includes, but is not limited to: freeway driving for long distances, phone conversations (aaaaaaaaiiiiiiieeee), making more left turns in traffic, meeting new people. I just tried something new, negating my perfectionistic tendencies: I am blogging from my iPad. And I'm going to stop without looking for typos or editing. Because life is short, and the time before my alarm goes off is considerably shorter. So to all of you in reader-land, I bid you good morning.

Make it a memorable day.