Playing with Fire

So I've been threatening to write "Tinder: the Musical." For those of you who have never been on Tinder, a popular dating app, here are some of the picture categories I have had the pleasure of enjoying:

Have fish, will travel

I need to put a shirt on

I have a gun! I'm outdoorsy! I'm on a horse!

I have a puppy/kitten/child/other adorable bait. Kudos to the guy with the fluffy owl.

I'm hugging my mom/grandma

I have no face, just a chest and abs

Really? That moustache? 
Guess which one out of these guys I am

I look surprised that I'm taking the my own picture

Then there are the songs, always the songs, that come to mind:

Eyes Without a Face

I Wear My Sunglasses at Night (and in every selfie)

Climb Every Mountain

I'm Too Sexy (for my shirt, or in some cases, any type of clothing)

Tinder profiles give major clues to personality and preferences:

Alumnus of the School of Hard Knocks

We're looking for a third

I work out! In case the pics of my bulging arms and torso did not provide any indication...

If you have kids then move on

I'm 6 feet tall, though I don't know why that's relevant

I'm an elitist freak

I like to have fun (heh heh...I know what that means. It means welcome to freedom, here is your complimentary crotch of fire)

Then you actually get to have conversations with some of these people. Joy of joys. There are things called charm and tact, and apparently they are elusive. One memorable guy opened a conversation like this: "Gag reflex?" 

I told him I was much more interested in whether he had a gag reflex. What an asshat.

Though there have been exceptions, in general this is not a good way to meet people. It is, however, an interesting look at a cross section of humanity/masculinity.