How Squirming Squid Made Me Feel Like Chopped Liver

It was a typical Friday night, stateside. I eagerly awaited the opportunity to chat with my husband online. Since he is currently stationed in South Korea, I should have suspected that he might have other plans.

And he did.

He and the fellas were planning a day trip to Seoul. Their aim? To purchase, then ingest, an octopus immediately after it had been killed.

I make it a point not to eat anything that's still moving on principle. In addition, there's the yarf factor to consider. What on earth, I wondered, could have possessed my normally discriminating husband to want to eat something like that???

I can only assume that some kind of man-ultimatum had been issued. This was the result.

As my husband said of the experience: "No matter how hard I chewed, it was like I wasn't chewing it. So, I had to force myself to swallow it."

Oh, the blech.

For my part, I wasn't too upset with him for ditching me Friday night. After all, how could chatting with me compare to such a texturally and culturally enriching experience? Seeing the clip also made me infinitely more grateful for the lovely meal my mother prepared last night. We had ham. Nice, dead ham.

Still ham.

*Gags.*

Douche, anyone?

Plagued by post-nasal drip and making a grocery list, I decided to Google possible phlegm-cutters. I happened upon this article, which refers to a sinus wash as a "nasal douche." And the fifth-grader in me snorted. Then, I choked, because snorting isn't a good idea when you should be douching every day...

From Lamb of God to Sweeney Todd

I am attending a performance of "Sweeney Todd" in Nampa tonight. And I am so incredibly excited. My friend Victoria, who is performing in the orchestra, provided tickets for me and another dear college friend. So not only do I get to catch up with these lovely ladies, but I actually get to see a LIVE ARTS EVENT.

This morning, I realized that the last live performance I attended was a death metal concert in San Antonio, circa 2004. The headliner was Lamb of God, though there were three other bands opening for them (Throwdown, Children of Bodom, and Fear Factory, to be specific). Though those who know me might be shocked by this, I thoroughly enjoyed the concert. I was particularly impressed with Lamb of God. Normally, I enjoy it when performers vary the material from their albums and improvise a bit. However, considering the complexity of Lamb of God's music, I was far more impressed that they were able to successfully replicate their works with such perfection and intensity. I still think their lead singer looks like someone I might hire to do my taxes...

But I digress.

I imagine that attending "Sweeney Todd" will be a far different experience. There will be music, of course, and plenty of theatrics. As with the metal concert, there will also be underlying themes of death, gore, and destruction. But I somehow doubt that the Nampa Civic Center encourages the formation of mosh pits, and concertgoers burning things.

If I am mistaken, it will be in my report.