We in the Treasure Valley have had what is widely known as
Snowpocalypse or Snowmageddon as of late. Here are some personal and family highlights:
Record snowfalls in the area, with plenty of melting and
icing over to boot. Too many snow days to count in a school district that
rarely calls school off. This has resulted in stir crazy people. Particularly
my daughter, who has resorted to memorizing the first act of Hamilton. My poor
grandma, who broke her shoulder last year, has been cautioned not to GO
ANYWHERE or DO ANYTHING. Which made last week’s icy excursion to the dollar
store a thrill-a-minute. The roads are like glass today. The parking lot where
I work was so slick last night that a co-worker gave me a ride to my car since
her car was closer.
The first day of the snowfall we had a pipe burst in the
garage. So, there was a brief cleaning out of what I fondly think of as hoarder’s
paradise. All useful stuff: tile (enough to re-do the bathroom) and a lot of
power tools (the better to cut your thumb off, my dear). It took the plumber
seven hours to get here and ten minutes to fix the problem. It took several
days to reassemble the garage because bitch, it’s cold outside.
My younger sister was initially stuck in her driveway
because of plowing. My older sister cannot move her car past her driveway most
mornings. My mother has been toting her kids and grandkids all over town in her
truck. She should have signed up to be an Uber driver before this nonsense
started.
I fell in my driveway, twice. The first time, my daughter
and I both fell in the same spot and then slid down on our butts. No major
injuries thank God. I’m sure it was funny to watch. A friend suggested that a
video would have been preferable, America’s Funniest Home Video style. Complete
with sound effects (whooooooop and wah wah wah, I would imagine).
I was stuck in and just outside of my cul de sac four times.
Even walking out to the car proved difficult. I signed up for AAA but they only
have been offering towing assistance in emergency situations. Towing companies called
directly were also not accepting short tows because the road conditions have
been so bad. Basically, I should have left my car at the base of the hill
instead of proceeding to get it out and stuck near the sidewalk. Drat.
As a consequence of my inability to move my vehicle, I could
not get across town to let my sister’s dogs out. She was repeatedly trapped in
the Portland area, unable to fly out for several days. My last attempt at
letting them out, I was stuck at the end of her driveway for fifteen minutes
with the rear end of my vehicle out in a busy street. A snow shovel and fervent
praying finally got me out safely. Thankful that I didn’t have my daughter with
me in the back seat, but not particularly grateful to the hundred cars that
went around me without bothering to stop. The poor puppies were eventually rescued by my
cousin. Plenty of swearing and guilt on my part. I have never been so mad at
Mother Nature.
Perhaps the funniest moment of all this came from my
daughter’s blasphemous quip. After a bought of my colorful language about the
lame weather situation she remarked: “You know who we really need to blame???
God.”
So thanks, God. Thanks a lot. No, seriously. Despite all the
craziness, not one of my family members has yet been in a car accident or had a
detrimental spill. The power has remained on. And we have plenty of frozen and
canned food here in the event of further snowfall or zombie apocalypse.
All in all, we’re doing pretty good.
