I woke up, and stared at the ceiling. My eyes began to wander around the darkened room. Suddenly, there was wetness on my face. I panicked momentarily, thinking that it must be a nosebleed. I then realized that the offending substance was coming from my eyes.
I was crying, and hadn’t realized it.
Oddly, I don’t remember feeling sad. I don’t remember thinking anything, other than, oh, I’m awake again, and, I wonder how long this will last. Then, tears. Even when I realized what was happening, and willed the deluge to stop, they kept rolling down my face.
Was I mourning some fragment of a recent dream? Or am I just more messed up right now that I will allow myself to admit?
Eventually, I slept again. But it was broken sleep, fraught with nightmares.
No wonder I prefer staying awake.
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