Cheap Shots

I was thinking of you while I wrote this song

But a list of your offenses would take too long

Let’s just say I won’t do another dish

For a no-good, lying, evil son of a bitch

The cheap shots you’re taking are making me take cheap shots

Old Crow, Wild Turkey, Mad Dog, Thunderbird, anything hits the spot

Every night I end up doubled over in the parking lot

Because the cheap shots you’re taking are making me take cheap shots

I’ve been stupid but faithful all these years

So terms like slut and whore don’t apply;

You’ve pushed me past hurt and grief and tears,

One more “See you next Tuesday” and I’ll just say goodbye

           

‘Cause the cheap shots you’re taking are making me take cheap shots

Old Crow, Wild Turkey, Mad Dog, Thunderbird, anything hits the spot

Every night I end up doubled over in the parking lot

Because the cheap shots you’re taking are making me take cheap shots

           

Your critical clamoring makes me twitch

But when all is said and done

I’d rather be an ugly, lame, frigid bitch

Than a beer-bellied psycho with a forked tongue

           

The cheap shots you’re taking are making me take cheap shots

Old Crow, Wild Turkey, Mad Dog, Thunderbird, anything hits the spot

Every night I end up doubled over in the parking lot

Because the cheap shots you’re taking are making me take cheap shots

Maybe I just need to detox

I don’t want to get on a soapbox       

But the cheap shots you’re taking are making me take cheap shots

I know that this might come as quite the revelation

But I need an extended vacation

From this unjust character assassination…